Online risks: how to protect your teen

Did you know that your teen can come across misogynistic and violent content in just a few clicks? Influencers like Andrew Tate, who has over 10 million followers, spread these kinds of messages widely on social media. Your role as a parent is to guide your teen, help them think critically, and stay aware of what they see online.

Being a parent in the digital age isn’t easy. We often wonder about what role we should play when it comes to our teen’s screen time. We know it’s important to set an example, establish rules, talk about it, and listen, but when should we step in and how much freedom should they have in choosing what to watch or do online? Manon R. Guérin, author of Flirtez-vous avec la cyberdépendance?, is here to help with a few tips.

1. Show interest in their digital life

As a parent, you probably already care about your child’s offline life. But their online life matters just as much! Are there influencers they like? Why? Who are these people? What kinds of things does your teen search for online? Do they have a social media account?

Are you able to answer these questions? “Take advantage of some downtime to take an interest in the video games your teen plays, for example, and maybe even join them for a round or two. Ask them what they like about the game. This opens up a line of communication while allowing you to share a good time together,” suggests Manon R. Guérin.

2. Help them tell the difference between different types of content

Online entertainment can vary a lot in terms of content quality, so it’s important to set some rules of use accordingly. Try to limit time spent on solo and passive activities, like playing video games alone or scrolling through social media feeds. Also keep an eye on “empty digital calories,” like binge-watching reality shows on Netflix or endless cat videos on YouTube.

3. Make sure they understand online safety risks

Remind your teen that privacy doesn’t really exist on the internet. It’s important to behave responsibly online and not share everything—whether it’s personal info, photos, or even moods. Discuss sexting and cyberbullying with them too.

“To start the conversation, you can bring up an example from current events, and remind your teen that, no matter what, you’ll be there for them and help them find solutions,” says Manon R. Guérin. For example, you could watch the Netflix series Adolescence together and talk about it. The show explores the risks of toxic masculinity and how some youth are being radicalized by online personalities.

Another helpful way to broach these topics is to ask how your teen would react in different situations. For example:

• “If you sent a photo to a friend by text, do you think it stays private?”
• “What would you do if you saw a hateful comment on a discussion forum or under a photo posted online?”
• “If a friend confided in you about being cyberbullied, would you help, and if so, how?”

4. Encourage other interests

Teens often say they turn to screens when they’re bored, so why not help them discover new interests, whether it’s sports or the arts? “You can encourage them, and even get involved yourself—by playing board games together, organizing family fitness challenges, or leaving yoga mats, puzzles, or art supplies out in shared spaces,” adds Manon R. Guérin. She also suggests setting a good example by exploring your own hobbies and being open to trying new things.

5. Put your teen at the centre of the conversation

You’ll create a space that’s conducive to conversations about screens if you involve your teen in setting the rules and finding solutions to the various problems related to internet and screen use.

Struggling to do that? “Try side-by-side conversations, which can feel less confrontational than face-to-face ones. Or write to each other in a shared notebook or by email,” the author suggests. “That way, you can take the time to choose your words wisely and include some encouraging comments for your teen, like: ‘You’re showing great discipline—well done!’ or ‘You should be proud of yourself for making an effort to try new things.’ After all, they’ll never be too old for compliments!”

Finally, don’t hesitate to seek out help if needed. “When you’re feeling overwhelmed by a situation, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness,” concludes Manon R. Guérin.

Manon R. Guérin holds a degree in communications (journalism) from UQAM. Author of several books, she has explored the fascinating world of screens in Flirtez-vous avec la cyberdépendance?, published in 2019 by Fides.